It’s been 4 weeks since I returned to work after maternity leave (at UHG, I received 1 month of paid leave + 80% of regular pay split between the California’s paid family leave (PFL) cap and UHG to get me to ~80% of pay for 3 months. Will write a separate post on that as I found navigating FMLA, PFL, and my SDI benefits to be unnecessarily complex!).
Now that I’m back to work, I was curious about the stats on returning from leave in the U.S. On one end of the spectrum, I was shocked to find that an estimated one in four American mothers return to work only 10 days after giving birth. I was still waddling around in hospital provided (stolen) netted underwear and thick postpartum pads 10 days after giving birth (and I was fortunate to have had a relatively easy, natural birth). Between getting the hang of nursing and learning how to change a diaper 12x a day, I cannot imagine returning to work without significant help (e.g., a night nurse, as some friends have recommended).
According to (a limited number of ) studies on the optimal length of maternity leave, returning after 10 days is anywhere from 8.5 – 11.5 months too soon. Returning to work too soon has a negative impact for fathers as well. One survey in Sweden found men on parental leave for 30-60 days (20-50 days longer than 1/4 of American women, as a reminder) had a 25% reduced mortality risk compared to men who did not take leave. Separate studies have also found lower rates of divorce and improved relationships with kids for fathers who take paternity leave (which may explain the lowered mortality risk). Takeaway: 1/4 of U.S. mothers (and most likely an even greater proportion of U.S. fathers) are not taking enough time off after one of the arguably most significant transformations of their lives.
Then there’s also the other end of the spectrum: over 1/3 of American mothers do not return to work at all after having a baby. I want to move to some quick tips for new mothers returning to work, but my takeaway here is: for women (and men!) starting companies, please support the new parents by offering robust benefits like ample (research-supported) parental leave, flex start time, and on-site day care (love edtech unicorn Guild’s action on this).
So onto 9 quick tips for new moms returning from maternity leave:
- Block time on your calendar for feedings –> heard this one from a mentor and it made me feel less guilty about protecting my time at work. Don’t apologize. You have a commitment you do not need to excuse yourself for.
- Go to sleep when the baby sleeps. My 4 month old’s current bed time is 8:30pm. If I go to bed by 9:30pm, I feel semi-human for those 6:30am calls (I work CST).
- Stick to a routine. Don’t stay up til 2am on weekends, then expect you will be all set for an early Monday meeting (see above).
- Leverage family when possible! I have an amazing MIL who watches my son from 9a-3p, making the return to work exponentially easier.
- If you don’t have family, find a post-partum doula or setup a nanny share! According to care.com, a nanny share saves you 1/3 the cost vs. having a private nanny, plus your baby gets built-in peer(s)!
- Don’t take on too much at once. When I returned to work, I felt the need to prove to myself (and others) that I was just as good as I always was. I took on too many assignments (including volunteering for our patent board which met at 5:30a my time) and realized pretty quickly I needed to scale back. Start small, get your groove back, and expand from there. Don’t bite off more than you can chew!
- Pump if you don’t have time to feed (see first point)! Willow is my pump of choice for those mid-meeting pumps.
- Talk about your kids. At a corporation of 300k+ I quickly realized there are a LOT of mothers. When a respected PM at the company shared she has a 2, 4, 6 AND 8 year old, I almost cried (happy tears). Find solidarity amongst coworkers, even while (COVID) remote. It’s a great way to bond beyond the daily humdrum of project deadlines, defect statuses, user stories and business politics.
- Allow yourself some slack. You won’t be perfect. There will be days where you hear your baby crying while you’re stuck in a meeting (with your video on). Or you’re on a call while burping your baby and he spits up all over you – reference picture below 🙂 Things may get messy, but at the end of the day you just do your best to juggle it all.
Power to all the #workingmoms out there! It’s not an easy job, but research shows that kids, particularly daughters, do better in their eventual careers when raised by employed mothers. So keep charging forward, working mamas!